


hey apollo

by orphan_account



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, this is really bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 12:12:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1687916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey,</p><p>You died"</p>
            </blockquote>





	hey apollo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chekovskycookie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chekovskycookie/gifts), [parkers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkers/gifts).



> This is really crappy because I wrote this at one in the morning while I was sobbing over the Supernatural season nine finale, the Hannibal season two finale, Twist and Shout, as well as rereading The Fault In Our Stars (by John Green). This work doesn't make any fucking sense, but I lost a bet so now I have to publish this (i'm sorry guys)
> 
> My writing is really shitty here and I promise that I'll post something that I spent more than fifteen minutes on sometime soon.

Hey,

I stayed with you at the hospital last night.

You didn’t know who I was. Fuck, Apollo, you didn’t know who anyone was, but they were all there. Your friends. The Amis. I guess that you should know now. If you don’t already, I mean.

Ferre was the one holding your hand and Courf was sobbing really loud. I’m glad we got our own room and shit, because the nurse’s would’ve complained about the noise. Jehan was the one who was writing a speech down your arm, Bahorel was there, too. In case you were wondering.

Bossuet brought the vodka. Ponine brought the whiskey. Chetta brought the gin and Joly the shot cups. Feuilly was the one who was sensible enough to bring flowers and those huge ass fucking ornamental shit that you don’t like, but it looks good in the room. I just sat next to you because you wouldn’t fucking let me go. Whatever, I mean, it’s probably okay. You’re okay now, right? It doesn’t hurt so much anymore ‘cause you’re dead.

It’s fine. I’m okay with saying you’re dead. It’s not that bad as people make it out to be. Or maybe that’s because I’m such a fucking cynic. I don’t know and I don’t really care, to be honest.

Then we all got ourselves dead drunk in our apartment last night. Just so I wouldn’t feel alone and nobody would have to drive back to their own places. 

It’s quiet without you. It’s different. I need you to come back, Apollo. We need to keep arguing again and debating useless shit about the future of mankind.

Here are some important reasons why (See, I’m doing the things that you used to do).

A - because Ferre and Courf looked like they just lost a part of themselves (who am I kidding, we all do)

B - without you, the whole fucking group has no idea what to do next

C - you’re gone. There’s really nothing else to say about that.

_**R** _

_you remembered who we were before you flatlined though. we were all able to say our goodbyes and all that emotional shit._   _your last words were by name and a question._

_(to answer - yeah i do. i will miss you. i will love you until the end of time.)_

_you died with a smile, too. if that makes it even more sappy for your patriotic heart._

 

\-- 

 

Hey,

I’m not getting hammered every night, if you’re wondering. I just go to work and then get back to an empty apartment and half-ass everything because you’re not there to make sure that shit gets done.

I’m still keeping everything clean, you know. It’s theraputic - like painting, but I know that you’d be happy to see how neat I’ve got the whole apartment, so that makes me feel slightly less like a useless shit.

Our meetings are going fine as well. Ferre is a good leader, a bit quiet, and not you, but we all love him enough to put our whole trust in him and Courf. You should see the turnout rate at all our events.

The world is cruel, Apollo, and you wonder(ed) why I  ~~am~~  (was) so pessimistic about everything.

_**R** _

_i still love you. i’m trying really hard to forget you. jk. i’m not. i’d never do that. not to us. not to you._

 

\--

 

Hey,

Everything’s going completely fine. I’ve been hired at the museum to do very expensive shit, which is more or less sitting around and looking at paintings people bought earlier in the year and deciding whether or not they’re good enough for the public eye. Or something like that. I don’t care as long as I’m making enough to keep our expensive as hell apartment, Apollo.

As far as I know, I’ve got too much money put away. I wish you were here so that we could spend it on frivolous shit together and then have you yell at me for purchasing a completely useless item. I mean, seriously. The shirt was a mistake.

…

I don’t fucking know what to put here.

I’m still sober? Ponine’s really watching me close on that, but sometimes she’ll let up and we’ll drink down our tears together, haha. Whatever makes her happy, I guess.

_**R** _

_apollo come back to me._

_(please)_

 

\--

 

Hey,

Courf and Jehan are dating now. It’s kinda really cute. Ferre and Ponine are sort of a thing as well, but there’s still caught up in a ton of shit they don’t deserve to be dealing with (cough cough life cough cough), but I hope they’ll be okay. Times are tough, but we’re pulling through.

Which - by the way - we had the largest audience the other night during our rally or whatever. Ferre and Courf were up there, all shining grace and stage lights, but it still looks weird without you. It’s been three months since you’ve died, and I’m still not used to the two of them by themselves.

I want you back up on that stage, commanding all the attention, and looking like some kind of untouchable god and perfectly carved marble. I want you and your blonde hair and your red jacket and your bright words and your beautiful voice to grace my ears again. (Is it creepy to say that I’ve been listening to your voicemails so that I don’t forget how you sound?)

It’s so empty without you here.

The Amis was perfect. Then you left.

We’re kinda less than perfect now.

_**R** _

_sorry about that_

 

\--

 

Hey,

I'm sorry I haven't been writing so much, work's been taking a lot of time, but I’m not entirely hopeless because I’ve been eating and not drinking and keeping the house clean and being mostly normal and becoming more human without you here.

Thanks for giving me that one chance to speak up during your meeting in September, Apollo. That day literally changed my whole fucking life.

For better or for worse? I don’t fucking know, and I don’t really care.

All I know is that you existed and we managed to meet, and that’s all that I will ever need in this lifetime of mine. I can become famous and live a really luxurious life and shit, but that’ll never compare to having you stand by me.

_**R** _

_i miss our fights. i miss our debates. i miss your hair and your eyes and your mouth and your voice and your thoughts and your brilliance and your body and your smell and your clothes and your stupid frown and your quirks and your words. i miss the side of the bed that you filled. i miss the place in my heart that you patched up. i miss calling you nicknames and watching you frown in the most adorable way. i miss when you blushed. i miss the text messages and the phone calls and all our conversations and when we worried over the shittiest things together. i miss when i cooked and you cleaned. i miss your existence. i miss you. i miss us._

_i want you back, apollo. just so i can call you that once more. and i miss how that word tastes on my tongue._

_i miss everything about it. i miss everything about you (us). please come back._

 

\--

 

Hey,

Marius and Cosette are getting married today. I wish you would be able to come to their wedding and watch Cosette get walked down by your dad and stuff. It would’ve been cool for all of us to cry together - in the happy way, I mean. Not the in the kind of sad way that’s been going on a lot lately. She’s gorgeous walking down that aisle (rehearsal dinners). I see where she gets the looks from. I also hate it that she looks like you when the sun dims around her and Marius in the evenings and her face reminds me too much of yours. She’s sad without you here.

It’s okay that you can’t make it though. We all understand.

Pontmercy’s not a bad kid for your sis and you full well know it, Apollo. Wherever you are.

Wish you’d be the big brother that glares at the groom the whole reception. No, I’m joking.

_**R** _

_i hope that you see these pieces of shit letters._

_cosette would be mad if you didn’t._

 

_\--_

 

Hey,

Today’s a good day.

It means that your death isn’t too sad and I’m not feeling like I just got run over and it’s my day off too, and my paycheck just came, but it’s not like I needed it.

I’m going grocery shopping this morning - to that organic place that you like - and then stopping by for lunch with Ferre and Courf and then coffee with Jehan.

I got a bookshelf - mainly because I thought that you’d like the new one better than the broken plastic one that we have now. I do admit, though, it does look a lot more nicer in our apartment. Or maybe that’s the shitty modern art that I spend so much time looking at getting to my brain.

_**R** _

_i love you so much. i really do and i feel like i never said that enough to you (but everybody else says that i did). i guess i’ll go with what they say then, haha._

_apollo. it’s really quiet._

 

\--

 

I miss you. _ **  
**_

_**R** _

 

_**\--** _

 

Hey, _ **  
**_

The rally went amazing today.

We were on fire and the crowd loved it. They would’ve loved you even more.

_**R** _

_i wish u were there to see it :(_

 

\--

 

Hey,

Apollo. We’re getting there! We’re making a difference!

OH MY GOD

_**R** _

_heh sorry i’m just really excited_

 

_\--_

 

Hey,

We did it.

I don’t know exactly what you wanted to do those sixty four shitty years ago, but we did it.

The Amis are still together, if you’re wondering. We still live within two minutes of each other and have phone numbers. I might have arthritis but that doesn’t mean that I can’t text them in the middle of the night because I’m emotionally distressed and really fucking bored.

Ha.

I’ve been like seven decades and I still haven’t gotten any more mature than when you first died.

Courf and Jehan got married. So did Chetta and her boys. And Feuilly and Bahorel.

We’re all really happy.

You still haven’t aged.

_**R** _

_i still think about you every day and it still hurts._

_it will always hurt, but the good kind of hurt because i know that i was loved and i am loved and i will always love. (forever)._

 

_\--_

 

Hey,

I (still) miss you.

I (still) love you.

I (still) want you.

_**R** _

_and i’ll never give you up for anybody else_

 

_\--_

 

Hey,

I’m the one, but I’m leaving soon.

At least I’m going on a good day?

(See I’m trying to be less of a cynic now)

_**R** _

_i’ll see you soon_

 

_\--_

 

Enjolras.

I love you.

_**R** _

 

_**\--** _

 

_(“Hey,” Grantaire says._

_“Hey,” Enjolras replies._

_And it’s been too long. Too long for everything._

_The rest of the Amis are there too, way back in the age of their college years. They all greet each other with a “hey”._

_It’s their Thing, you know? And Fate knows that you never disrupt Things.)_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still crying over fictional characters
> 
> This was a bitch to format. 
> 
> I'm really sorry guys. (Hope your eyes haven't been burned out of your skull after reading my horrible tear-induced writing)


End file.
